Sunday, April 25, 2010

Question for Men

I had a few encounters with men at my day-job that has made me question how do men see women... I am a bank customer service representative by day, a modern day abolitionist by night. Just merely asking psychologically perverted men for personal information to allow me to help them makes them say "You need to change your attitude." Writing this right now just boiled my blood again.

Let's get this straight... I am Asian. I am from the Philippines and proud of it. I look very young. I could pass for a high school kid if I tried. I'm 29 now. Thanks to my parents for good genes I guess! I did not arrive in the United States as a sex slave and for that, I am so grateful. I've arrived in America legally. My father who became a naturalized US citizen in December 2000 has petitioned my permanent residency. We even went through an immigration lawyer in New York City. My dad spent three thousand bucks. Three thousand well spent...

But as I look at how these American men (both black and white) see me as one, I feel so disgusted. Just merely knowing that these men see me as a prostitute or former prostitute makes me sick though I am not one and not even thinking about becoming one. I am not a woman who is or will never be promiscuous. If I become enslaved in sexual slavery, I would end up killing myself, if not physically, psychologically. I pray that will never happen to me or my future daughters, nor to my sister, cousins & nieces.

I have been molested as a young girl by men, who were not my father or primary caretakers, whom I thought I could trust. Boy! Was that hard to admit... And from those experiences alone, I already feel dirty & ashamed and I haven't even been raped yet (and thank God). Now that I am an adult, I saw that these three men (yes, three adult men) were sick in the head. They saw me as a sexual plaything which was actually immoral. No human female, young or old, is a sexual toy. Human females are people too. And it makes me realize that if men like them found out that their own mothers, sisters, wives & female kin, they would kill the people who molested & raped them unless they're really immoral people...

And if men in general could not let their women kin be molested or raped, how much more rage will they have if they found out that their female relations are being exploited, abused & raped by sex traffickers? (Maybe this is the question we should ask today's men...)


  1. Hey Karina,
    I took a lot of courage for you to admit that. I'm so proud of you. I'm so aorry that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal, but also glad that you can minister to thousands of women so that they to can heal from their sexual attackers. Keep your head up and I will continue to pray for you so that one day, you will no longer carry the shame of what you went through.

  2. good writing from the heart
    not only do you talk a lot, you write a lot :)